Once upon a timer

When I write stories  I normally use the opening once upon a time. Most of the time I end up writing once upon a timer I think it is funny. Maybe I will use it in a story next time. I will do it right now. Once upon a timer there was a timer. It took most people one hundred hours to actually assemble but soon they realized it was a timer bomb. People were super angry they sued the company who had no idea. They said it was the manufactures they said it was the disassembles who took it apart. They knew it was them but they didn't admit it instead they ran away to the air port and caught the first ride to a space station. Spending a night there they never noticed a security camera caught them. The next day they went to the control panel. To hide after blastoff they could come out because no one would force them because if they did they would have to open the ship and the oxygen is gone. However a sneaky person had put one of their own nasty timers and it said, " Assemble to destroy yourself another person." They wanted to destroy every one on the ship then rule another planet. However the bomb was only small enough to destroy the assemblers and of course Ka-Boom!!!