Problems go together

Whatever issues one has are always related. Well, everything is related, but especially problems. I suspect part of the reason I notice this, is that when my mind wanders to thinking about the issues in my life, I am in a headspace where everything else that I dislike about myself comes to my wandering mind. Then the connections begin to form. Perhaps the connection is very tenuous, but nevertheless it is made. In that haze, I think clearly, from a different perspective than the one I use in my everyday life, and sigh, knowing that this will never last, that after I have fallen asleep, I will have forgotten everything, and continue doing exactly what I was doing before, with a vague sense of shame in the background.

I will wonder when I will next think the same thoughts. For the actions which I must reflect on are do not vary much between hazes. I hope that I will not think these thoughts again, that this will be the one conversation with myself I need to finally motivate myself to do something. But I expect the worst.

I know that I have thought the same thoughts before, and wonder what exactly I felt back then. Am I, at this very moment merely following the cycles, the only difference being the time that I have wasted in the mean time. 

All my self-reflection eventually reached this point. At the time when I begun writing this, I had not expected to come back to thinking about my motivation, but it appears that that idea is forever entrenched, for all my problems are related.

It is said that everybody has the same twenty-four hours in a day. How fortunate then, that I have invented time travel, in the depths of my own mind, the clock strikes twelve, and it echoes with the sound of each clock in the past, and each clock in the future.